octobra:

if you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off I will do the same thing to ur head

(Source: youtubeofficial, via americasoqui)

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(via sarahsgrotto)

waytoostrongforwaytoolong:

deanfrost:

at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it

when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?

(Source: buckyfrost, via funnybro)